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My next outing out of the house was to the airport. With the work on the house finished and me well on my way to being sane again, Mum and Dad had decided it was best to return to Bali. Or maybe somewhere else.

  "We'll just go where the trade winds take us," Mum said.

  I rolled my eyes. I wasn't so sure about these trade winds but it made Mum and Dad happy so I was glad to see them go, even though I'd miss them. I had never understood their need to travel. Growing up, the one thing I'd wanted was a stable home in one country instead of being flung around from place to place. I'd been so angry every time they'd said we were moving again. It was so damn selfish of them to only think about themselves and not about me. I'd totally withdrawn from them. But, as I got older, my anger faded. I'd have still loved to have gone to the same high school for my entire school years, maybe even making some friends, but that was never going to happen.

  The airport wasn't nearly as overwhelming as I thought it'd be. Sure, it was busy and full of noise but I wasn't travelling, so it wasn't any stress on me. I hugged them goodbye even though I hated hugging. Tex waited in the car. He didn't want to be mobbed at the airport and I think he wanted to give us time alone to say our goodbyes. Or maybe he was just scared he'd cry like a little bitch.

  "Look after yourselves," I said. "Don't go getting into trouble."

  Dad grinned. "You look after yourself, Ruby. Don't forget, we're only a phone call away if you need anything."

  Dad checked in his new bass guitar even though I was pretty sure once he got to Bali, he'd never even open the case. Dad found it hard to sustain interest in hobbies. The guitar would gather dust in the corner until it was time for him to move on, then he'd give it away to some random person. I guess the upside was that someone out there in the world would get a pretty decent bass for free. Who knew that they mightn't grow up to be a famous bass player, if such a thing existed?

  Mum hugged me again. "You have a good thing going on there. Don't let your insecurities ruin your relationship."

  That was all good for her to say but on the way home, I was plagued with even more insecurities about why she'd said that. Did she think Tex and I were going to break up? Could she see something I couldn't? Just mentioning my insecurities made them worse. I wondered how my parents, who were so breezy, ended up with a daughter like me. Maybe someone switched babies when I'd been born and there was a set of neurotic parents out there wondering how they'd gotten such a free-spirited daughter.

  "At last, some time to ourselves," I said to Tex on the drive home. I loved his new car. It wasn't anything flashy but it had that new car smell and lots of buttons. I loved pushing all the buttons in the car to see what they did, even if it did make Tex shitty.

  "Yeah, but your parents are the best, Ruby Red," he replied.

  Tex wanted me to learn to drive and I'd actually started thinking about it. Thousands of people did it, so it couldn't be that hard. And if I was going to leave the house, driving was much superior to the bus.

  I glanced over at him. Even while he smiled, he had a tinge of sadness to his face. Tex's parents had definitely not been the best, from what I'd heard. His father drank a lot and had been abusive. I had no idea what his mother had been like. The two of them had been killed in a traffic accident when Tex was young.

  I'd heard that abusive behaviour was often picked up by the kids in a relationship like that but Tex had never shown any sign of it. Sure, he had a temper but he never took it out on me. There was always a huge strain between him and Devon that could turn violent at any moment but they seemed to keep that under control. Maybe, because Tex had always felt like he'd had to look after his little sister, he was too protective if anything.

  It was knowing about parents like Tex's that made me realise mine weren't so bad. Even the annoying things they did, they did from their hearts. It wasn't like they were selfish or manipulating. At least, not most of the time. It was no wonder Tex had grown so close with them while they were visiting. He'd probably never had a relationship like that with his own parents.

  "I'm working on a new song," Tex said. "It's something special."

  He gave me a sideways glance with a sly smile. I took the bait.

  "What is it?"

  "It's called ‘Ruby Red’."

  "Ugghhh, that doesn't sound good. Is it about a girl who never changes her socks?"

  Tex gave a little chuckle. "No, it's a love song. But maybe I should add that bit in."

  I sneered at him but my heart fluttered. It seemed so surreal that Tex was actually a famous rock star writing a song about me. I always thought of him as just my Tex. I had been growing used to sharing him with the world though. Sometimes, he found it easier to say things in his music that he couldn't put in words. I wondered if this song would be like that.

  "Should we stop somewhere and pick up something for dinner?" Tex asked.

  We hadn't had pizza since the incident with the crazy pizza shop girl. Just the thought of pizza had freaked me out. But suddenly, I had a craving for it. You can't let someone else's crazy destroy everything you love in this world. And was a life without pizza a life worth living?

  "Let's get pizza," I said.

  "Are you sure?" Tex's voice was an equal mix of concern for me and desire for pizza.

  "Hell yeah."

  CHAPTER FIVE -RUBY

  I knew I was in the right spot when I saw the guy lolling in a hammock typing on his MacBook, and could smell the coffee brewing. I had to find Jeremy Jerkface somewhere. I went to the coffee counter and ordered a coffee first. This whole place reeked of hipster. Before my coffee was made, a guy in a plaid shirt approached me.

  "Ruby?"

  "Yeah." He had to be Jeremy. He looked exactly as I'd pictured him with maybe even more smugness. This meeting wasn't going to go well. I knew it.

  Tex hadn't wanted me to go. He thought I wasn't ready for a step like this. I'd told him that I wanted to get the cash off them.

  "If they are willing to pay me the big bucks then I'm happy to take it. I need to be independent. I can't just live off your money forever."

  "Why not? I've got more than enough. It's just money. It's not such a big deal."

  I folded my arms. It was easy for him to say that but it gave me a total thrill that someone would pay real money for something I'd created. I didn't notice Tex offering to play concerts for free.

  When he realised I was determined, Tex had offered to come with me. I wasn't sure what he thought he could do. Well, other than moral support and hand holding. I'd told him I'd be fine by myself. I would actually feel more comfortable without him there. Anyway, he had the festival appearance and had to get set up for that. I didn't want him rushing around with me and getting all distracted when he had to play that night.

  The barista handed me my coffee.

  "We have a meeting room around the back. I have a few of my associates with me, some that are here on the ground and a couple who have flown in for the meeting."

  What the hell? People flew in for this? That kind of intimidated me. It was just a simple app. Maybe they had other business in town as well.

  I nodded and followed Jeremy.

  "There are a couple of people who'll be joining us about halfway through the meeting. I hope you don't mind."

  "No, that should be –"

  Before I could finish, he'd cut me off to tell me a heap of stuff about the company. Quite frankly, I couldn't care less. I just wanted to find out how much money they'd give me and then get my cash and leave. Hopefully as quickly as possible, so I could get home to Tex before he left and I could give him some support. I didn't want things between us to get so one-sided that he couldn't rely on me when he needed to and he always got a bit nervous before he performed.

  We went into a meeting room and a couple of other guys in plaid shirts stood up and shook my hand. They said their names but I didn't really catch what they said. The place was freezing cold. They'd set the air conditioning to Arctic conditions. Maybe that was a tactic to
manipulate me into doing what they wanted. I wrapped my hands around my coffee cup, taking warmth from it. It'd been so hot outside that I'd only worn a light dress. It'd seemed totally appropriate at home.

  As soon as I sat down, they started the hard sell. Telling me about what a great company they were and all the benefits of working with them.

  "Of course, we offer flexible working conditions but we find most of our employees enjoy collaborative work."

  "I hate working with other people." That might've come out a bit abrupt but I didn't want any misconceptions.

  Jeremy raised his eyebrows. "That might be fine on smaller projects but don't you enjoy the scope of working on something bigger and more adventurous? Pushing the boundaries?"

  If only he knew how much my boundaries were already pushed just by being in that meeting.

  "We aren't talking about employment. I want to sell the app outright."

  The three guys exchanged looks then kept talking as though I hadn't said anything.

  "See, that is exactly why I don't want to work with you." I had a lump in my throat as I talked but figured I really had nothing to lose. I made a mental note to tell Sheryl what I'd said. She'd be really impressed with my being open.

  They all looked at me.

  "I just said something and you totally ignored me," I explained. "How can I work in an environment like that?"

  "Well, umm, did we do that?"

  Jerks.

  Even though I sounded brash and confident, my heart pounded. I wanted to crawl up into a ball rather than risking conflict. But at least I had it together enough to come to this meeting and talk to these guys. That was definitely a step toward recovery.

  "Anyway, let's talk about money. How much are we talking?"

  Before they could answer, the door opened and a couple of other guys came into the room, apologising for interrupting. I didn't mind. I wasn't planning on sticking around much longer anyway.

  Jeremy introduced the first guy as the CEO, Alex Feng. The guy towered over me even when I stood up to shake his hand. He smiled and I had to admit, he certainly was charismatic. He put one hand over mine as he shook it and gave me a smile that warmed even my chilly heart.

  "Ruby, we are so delighted you agreed to meet with us. I hope it hasn't been too tiresome for you."

  I couldn't help but smile back at him. His charm sure as hell wouldn't make me change my mind but it would make the meeting more pleasant. Even the tone of his voice soothed me. He was like salted caramel sauce in human form. With incredible cheekbones. It wasn't often that guys had an immediate effect on me. Usually I didn't even notice them but this man was something else. I wasn't even sexually attracted to him. I just liked looking at him.

  Then I noticed the other guy who'd come into the room. My entire body froze.

  "Oh, I forgot to introduce Chris. He is one of our up-and-coming developers."

  I knew Chris David. I would never forget him and, from the way his piggy eyes bore into me, he remembered me too. I got up shakily to my feet. I needed to get out of this place before I threw up. The world faded to black and I couldn't breathe. This was worse than being kidnapped. It was worse than anything. My only hope in this life was to never see that man again, to bury everything that had happened, and now he was right in front of me and I couldn't ignore him.

  I ran from the room and along the corridor but I'd gone the wrong way and hit a dead end. I thumped my fist against the brick wall not sure of how to even get out of this place. It was a labyrinth.

  Then that guy, Alex, found me and guided me into an empty room. He called for someone to get me a glass of water. I wasn't sure what to do so I sat down as sobs heaved through my body. I'd tried to be so brave and so confident and I'd just ended up in a pile of shit. I could never be near that man again.

  Not even the caramel voice of Alex Feng could soothe me. This was the pain that lived in the fetid, swampy bottom of my heart being stirred up. It made everything smell like rotten pond scum. It twisted around my body and pulled me down to the bottom.

  "Do you have someone I can call?"

  I fumbled in my bag and got out my phone. My head swam with wooziness.

  "Tex," I said. Then I shook my head. I remembered he had the festival on. "No. Not Tex."

  But it was too late, he'd already called the number. I waved for him to stop, trying to get his attention.

  I heard him talking, giving Tex the address.

  The light in the room was too strong and the smell of coffee made me sick but I couldn't get the words out to say anything. One of the guys from the meeting came in with a glass of water. It wasn't Chris David, thank goodness. They'd also found a blanket for me and wrapped me in it.

  The CEO stayed with me, talking to me in a calm voice. He must've thought I was a complete nutter. At least they wouldn't be making offers for me to work with them after this.

  CHAPTER SIX - RUBY

  "You can't miss the festival. I won't allow it."

  I jumped out of bed and tried to follow him on my wonky legs but he turned at the head of the stairs and blocked me. I didn’t have the strength to fight him.

  "I can and I will. You're the one precious thing in my life. I can't leave you here like this while I go off to play. How could I play anyway?"

  "Get Hannah to come over again," I said. "It's not like I need babysitting anyway. I had an attack and now I'm fine."

  Tex took me in his arms and put me back in bed. I'd tried to fake being better but I couldn't fool him this time. If only Mum and Dad hadn't gone back overseas, I wouldn't need to have this fool fight with him. Couldn't he see that the thought of him cancelling his appearance to stay with me only made me feel worse? All hell would break loose for sure.

  "It's no big deal, Ruby. And Hannah can't come over. She's out of town."

  "Think of the fans," I said. "They are there to see you. Without you, they are going to be really disappointed. You'll be letting them down. Some poor kids will be crying themselves to sleep tonight."

  "Hell, Ruby, if I go, I'll be letting you down. And myself. Don't argue. Just get some rest."

  I didn't want this burden of guilt dumped on me though. It took all my strength to argue with Tex but he wasn't budging. He headed back downstairs and came back with some soup he'd heated up.

  "I left you last time and when I got back you were as pale as a ghost, still trembling and scared. Even with Hannah here, you were a mess."

  "Was not a mess." I sat my soup bowl down beside the bed. "I'll just sleep anyway. I won't even notice you’re gone."

  Tex kept giving me questioning looks. I'm sure he wanted to know what had caused the attack but he wasn't going to come right out and ask. I couldn't tell him. It was something I never wanted to talk about again.

  "Sheryl gave me some sleeping tablets. I'll take one and be out like a light."

  "Hell no! That's even worse. I can't leave you if you've taken something like that. You can be as stubborn as you like but it won't change my mind."

  "Please, Tex. I'd rather spend the night alone than deal with the fallout from this. You have responsibilities -- to your fans, to the rest of the band and to the people organising the festival. You can't just push all that aside."

  Tex sat on the bed and brushed my hair from my face. "You are my only responsibility. The night of the Awards show, I got home and you looked like hell. I swore then that I would put you before anything else in my life. And, for fuck sake, it's just seeing a band play. It's not like I'm an open heart surgeon. People will survive if I don't go to work. Now, eat your soup."

  "I would if you stopped playing with my hair." I gave him a wonky grin. If I'd had the strength, I'd have got my phone out of my bag and called Hannah – I wasn't convinced that she really was out of town -- but my bag was in the kitchen downstairs and there was no way I could make it without Tex blocking me.

  When I finished eating the soup, I put the bowl on the table beside my bed.

  “What about Lizzie?”


  "It's too late, anyway. I would never get there in time so just rest up and let me look after you."

  The thoughts buzzed around in my head, not letting me sleep. To be honest, I was stressed about how this would pan out. Even though Tex tried to make it not a big deal, I knew it would end up causing a ton of tension with me in the middle of it. You couldn't just not turn up to play a festival. Even I knew that much.

  I should've made the meeting on another day, not a day when Tex had to perform. It was so easy to see that in hindsight. But those people, if they'd told me that man would be at the meeting or even associated with their company, I'd have never even agreed to see them. He'd tried to destroy my life and you couldn't get over that so easily.

  Tex took my soup bowl downstairs. He was gone a while.

  "It's all sorted now," he said. "I've cancelled. It’s a done deal so you can stop trying to convince me otherwise. I'm staying here with you all night."

  He stripped off and settled into bed beside me, putting his arm around me. My insides twisted. While there was usually nothing I preferred more than snuggling up in bed with Tex, this was a huge problem. He could put on his smilie, happy face and tell me it was okay but that was just a big fat lie.

  He wanted to protect me but he had to protect himself too. He'd ruin his entire career. Still, I couldn't help but relax when he took me in his arms.

  "What's the deal? I know there is something that triggered your… attack today, and, if you don't want to tell me, that's okay. But I really think you'd feel better if you told me about it."

  I took a deep breath. I didn't want to talk about it but maybe I should tell Tex. It was just something that I'd rather keep buried. He was right, I did feel safe with his arms around me and my head resting on his shoulder. Maybe the safest I'd ever felt in my life. It might make me feel better to talk about it, and he deserved to know.

  I twisted the edge of the blanket, not sure where to even start. My skin twitched like baby spiders crawled over me. I scratched my arm, trying to get rid of the sensation. I hated spiders. I hated thinking about spiders. They just turn up out of nowhere and freak you the hell out without a second thought.