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  Even though it was what I'd suggested, my heart sunk. It seemed to be the theme of the week ― things people could do without Hannah. Most of them revolving around Storm. I wanted to be part of it. I wanted to have the fun and the excitement. I wanted to be there to see the band become what they should be.

  It seemed like not that long ago, I had this awesome, fun thing that I felt part of in a way that I’d never felt part of anything in my life. We’d been a team, trying to bring a dream alive, but I’d been brushed aside and all the fun was gone.

  Angie grabbed my hand.

  “What's this ring?” she asked. “You've been trying to keep it out of sight all day.”

  “I'm engaged.”

  “Huh?” She dropped my hand onto the table. “Who to? What the hell?”

  “To Tamaki. He asked me a week or so ago and I agreed last night.”

  Angie stared. She stared in a way that made me want to look away. I scratched my nose and stared at the label I was writing. There was some major judging going on in that stare.

  “You are engaged to Tamaki? Why?”

  “What the hell else am I supposed to do? I no longer have a band to manage. I no longer have a life.”

  Angie grabbed my shoulders.

  “You didn't even tell me, Hannah. Isn't that a hint? When you get engaged to someone, you should want to shout it from the rooftops. You want to scream and laugh and act crazy. You don’t hide it from people like some dirty secret.”

  I felt as if I should say something to defend myself. I needed to justify myself, but the words didn't come out. What could I say? That I needed to do this for my father? That sounded lame. That I was terrified of another scandal? That if I couldn't have Jack I didn't care.

  “Even without the band, you have a huge future in front of you. You are smart and pretty and full of moxie. You haven't even finished Uni. Imagine what you can do! You don't want to tie yourself down. I totally do not approve.”

  She folded her arms.

  “I won't be finishing my degree or doing anything else if I don't get married. I have nothing, Angie. It's all an illusion.”

  I looked down and realised I'd totally screwed up the address. I couldn’t even write simple words.

  I'd have my dad in prison, my name dragged through the courts and no money. That's what I'd have. At least with Tamaki, I'd have safety and an anchor in my life. I wouldn't wake up again some morning to find the ground had fallen away from beneath me.

  We’d managed to get through the entire mailing list. Those CDs would be hitting the desks of every person with influence just before the first concert of the tour. And I hadn’t even thought to ask why the hell I’d been doing this for the band I no longer managed.

  Chapter 31. Hannah

  Once our engagement became official, I got swept up in a rush of celebration and fuss. Personally, I'd have liked to have kept things quiet but that wasn't to be, obviously. I figured an engagement meant just some vague promise that we'd be getting married some time in the misty future. Not so with Tamaki. He wanted to set a date, get things organised and official. For fuck sake, he wanted us to see a wedding planner. In Tokyo. That was definitely making plans concrete.

  “I think we should have the wedding in Japan,” he said. “It would be easier.”

  I agreed. I didn’t really care where we held the wedding. It’s not as if I had any friends or family anyway. Well, except for Angie. I just wished he’d stop and let me breathe for a bit, rather than trying to make a hundred small decisions a day.

  “Anyway, we can see how we go. I have to return home soon and I think you should go with me, so we can have the official engagement party.”

  “How long for?” I asked. I didn't want to just pack up and leave like that.

  “Does it matter? There's nothing you need to be here for, is there?”

  I couldn't think of anything, except for like my whole life. I didn't want to head off and leave everyone. But I couldn't really say that. I had nothing tangible, just the need to be with friends and do things my way. Already, Tamaki had been making decisions for the two of us. Nothing huge, nothing I could argue with, just things like where to have dinner or making suggestions about what I should wear.

  Tamaki ran his fingers up my arm, a gentle stroke that tickled.

  “What's wrong, Hannah?” he asked. “You aren't having second thoughts, are you?

  I smiled. He was doing that biting his bottom lip thing. It was exceptionally cute. I was a sucker for that lip bite.

  “Of course not,” I replied. “It just seems so overwhelming. So much to do.”

  He nodded.

  “But you don't have to worry, Hannah. When we get home, the planner will do everything. All you have to do is sit back and be pampered, like a princess. That isn't so hard.”

  His smile reassured me and I didn't want to say that when he said “home”, he meant his home not mine.

  ***

  Angie had come over with the videos she wanted to submit for her final assignment. She wanted my feedback but I wasn’t sure how valuable my feedback would be considering I knew nothing about that kind of stuff. Still, as we’d watched the videos she made, it struck me once again how super talented she was.

  Anyway, she’d told me the most important feedback was my natural reaction to things and had sat there through the entire watching process staring at me and taking notes.

  The live footage she’d captured of the band. It was amazing. It was hard to watch but it really felt like raw energy pulsated from the screen.

  When it finished, she put down her notes and put on her serious talk face.

  “How are things going?” Angie asked. “With you and Tamaki?”

  “It's all happening, Angie. I feel like my life isn't my own any more.”

  “Scary.”

  “Yeah, but it'll be nice to be in the papers for something that isn't a big scandal, you know. My life will be so uncomplicated after this. I’ll have a safety net.”

  She squeezed my hand.

  “It's going to be epic, right. I know I don’t approve of this but if it’s what you want, then I support you. When do you go back?”

  “I'm not sure yet. Tamaki has some things to finalise before we leave. I’m sure it’s going to be okay, it just seems overwhelming and crazy right now. I’ve never been the type to dream about a fairytale wedding. I wish we could just keep things low key and simple but it’s turning out to be a massive gala event. This whole engagement party – ‘it’s not a party, it’s a business announcement’ is what Tamaki keeps saying.”

  Angie gazed into space for a moment, her expression showing the cogs running in her brain.

  “Can I go with you? Seriously, you need to have a friend at this party and that would have to be me, right? Right? I totally need to go with. Especially since I missed out last time. I only have the Storm video left to do and I’ll have that done next week and then I'm on break. I mean, I totally don’t approve of this wedding but if you are going to go through with it, then I need to be there. Especially if there is Tokyo.”

  I laughed at her jumping up and down in her seat, like a kid that's been offered a chance to go to the zoo.

  “Of course you can come. I'll talk to Tamaki about it tonight but it’ll be fine. I mean, I can't go through this on my own.”

  “Awesome,” Angie said, clapping her hands. “Of course, if you change your mind and decide to not go through with this, that’s okay too. You don’t have to get married just so I can have a holiday.”

  This whole engagement party thing seemed much more fun now Angie was going with me.

  “So do you have any more of your videos we need to watch?” I asked. Because I cared about helping Angie and not at all because I wanted to see any more of Jack Colt.

  ***

  We were having dinner at yet another hip restaurant. It was some kind of Spanish fusion food place in a converted warehouse. All funky and loud and echoey. I'd already run into three people
I'd rather not have ever seen again in my life.

  I hated going to those places. I hated feeling on display. But, increasingly, Tamaki insisted on it. We had to be in the right places. Sometimes, when we were about to leave to go out, he’d look in the mirror at the two of us together and comment on how well we suited each other.

  “A perfect contrast, don’t you think?” he’d ask. “You complete me, Hannah.”

  When we finally got a break from all the hellos and cheek kissing, I told him about Angie coming to Tokyo with me.

  “Do you think that's a good idea?” Tamaki put down his knife and fork.

  “Yes, I do think it's a good idea. It's a grand idea. I couldn't think of a better idea.”

  “Look, Hannah, Angie is lovely and a good friend, but this party… it's for very important people. The kind of people you network with. It's not a few drinks with friends, but with business associates. I don't know if Angie would be comfortable with those kinds of people.”

  He twisted his napkin in his hands and I knew he was really thinking that Angie wouldn't fit in with them. That she wasn't the right kind of person.

  “I want her with me,” I said in a voice that made it clear I wouldn't listen to any more of his arguments.

  He sighed.

  “Think of how Angie would feel,” he said. “I don’t want her being uncomfortable.”

  But I knew he was lying and only thinking of himself. I pushed the paella around my plate, no longer feeling hungry. I didn’t want to make a scene but honestly, if Angie couldn’t come to my engagement party, I didn’t want to go through with it.

  I finally looked up from my plate and, for a moment, Tamaki glared at me with a look of annoyance in his eyes. But, before I could say anything, he’d changed back to his usual sunny self.

  “I didn’t think this would be such an issue for you…”

  “She’s my best friend.”

  “I don’t want to say you can’t invite her, just that you should think hard about it. Think about…”

  Of course I’d thought about it. I’d thought about all the fun we’d have. I’d thought about how nice it’d be to go shopping with and help me get ready and to laugh with. Someone to be a buffer between me and them – my father and Tamaki’s family.

  Tamaki reached out and covered my hand with his. I pulled my hand away.

  “I just want to protect you, Hannah. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Chapter 32. Hannah

  I didn’t get to see Angie much before I was due to leave. She worked literally day and night to get her portfolio ready to hand in. The one time I did see her, she had black rings around her eyes and she bolted down a coffee before running off again.

  “I thrive on stress,” she’d said.

  Since Tamaki wanted to leave as soon as possible, we’d decided I’d go with him and Angie would follow in a few days. I hadn't said anything to Angie about my conversation with Tamaki. How do you tell someone that your fiance thinks they aren't good enough to come to your engagement party? Because that's what it boiled down to. He thought she would be an embarrassment. That kind of made me feel a bit ick. When he'd tried to kiss me after that, I didn't want to return his kiss. It'd made my heart feel a little bit cold.

  I should've been so excited, heading overseas to be the star of a huge party to celebrate my engagement. About to return to a life of luxury with a gorgeous man. That was like a dream. Only I couldn't get into it. I'd pack a few things then wonder if anything exciting was on TV or stop to check my twitter. I had to force myself to get motivated. That bag had to be packed. We were leaving that night. Tamaki had said not to pack much, that we could buy anything we needed when we got there but I didn't want him buying me things, I'd rather have my own things.

  The apartment seemed too small, as though I needed to get out and away from that damn suitcase. Maybe I’d go out for coffee and some lunch. I had plenty of time. I wasn't leaving until later in the night. I had all the time in the world.

  Then the phone rang.

  I thought it must be Angie.

  She’d been calling me a random moments and firing off questions. I thought her brain was getting addled from lack of sleep and overwork. I mean, she wasn’t seriously worried about a Godzilla attack in Tokyo?

  “Hannah, you all packed? I hope you have everything sorted out.”

  Dad. Not Angie.

  “Nearly packed.” I sighed. “I’m glad you called. What do I have to do about the apartment? I’ve never had the landlord’s details.”

  “Huh? They own the building, Han. Why do you think you’re living there rent free? I said I didn't want you living in that horrible old place and Ichiro said he'd sort it out.”

  But Dad had only said Tamaki had organised the apartment, he hadn’t said that they owned it. Why did they keep that from me?

  “So, what's going on?”

  Every time Dad called, it seemed it was to pressure me into something. I remembered when we could just chat about things, and I hadn’t felt as though I had to be guarded about every word I said.

  “Oh, I talked to Frank. It seems like we might have things sorted out soon, might even be able to move back into the house. That'll be great, won't it? And get all the stuff back. I can't believe they swooped in and took it all like that. I really thought you'd be left with enough to live on.”

  I heard him light up a cigarette.

  “Are you going to restart the company? Are you coming home? Can you just walk back in and have everything go back to normal? That seems a bit strange.”

  “Yeah, it's not so easy, Han. I mean reputation is everything and that's… Maybe I'm screwed in that country now. I'm thinking of selling up everything and staying in Asia. Ichiro has a lot of connections. He can get me set up with a nice little deal in China.”

  I don't know why, but that made my heart sink. It somehow didn't seem above board. For once, Dad seemed in a chatty mood though. Maybe I could get some answers without him giving me the brush off.

  “What happened, Dad? How did things go crashing down so fast?” I picked at the cuticle on my thumbnail. My polish had chipped and that annoyed Tamaki.

  “I never did anything illegal, Hannah. Trust me. But I'd overextended myself, got in too deep, then had to borrow from here to cover things over there. That kind of thing. And it's business, you know. Sometimes you have to deal with people who aren't so… well, who might be a bit shady. But they have nothing on me and it's going to be okay.”

  That was the problem. Dad said he’d done nothing wrong but then he’d say they had nothing on him. If he’d done nothing wrong, he’d not have to worry about anyone having any proof. Maybe I didn't want to know more. Who knew how long that shady dealing had gone on? Dad used to take me around with him. Every school holidays I'd be in the office or on site, hanging out at meetings. Then he'd stopped all that, telling me I was too old to go with him; that a teenage girl was a distraction and he didn't like the way the men looked at me.

  Really, if a teenage girl was a distraction, how would those men be when I took over the company? They'd have to deal with me every day. It just didn't ring true. Maybe stuff had gone on at those meetings he didn't want me to hear.

  “And the band management company?”

  He laughed.

  “I'd forgotten I'd even signed that over to you. It was a bit of a joke really. Some of those guys. Did you ever get in touch with them? We had some fun times back in the day.”

  To be honest, I'd never really gotten in touch with any of the other acts signed to the company. There were a few old timers, who'd had some success years and years ago, but I’d forgotten all about them when I’d taken the company on. After all, Storm were the band with the future.

  “So, why did you sign Storm?”

  “Favour to an old friend.” He paused for a moment and cleared his throat. “I'd forgotten I'd even signed them. Anyway, I’ve got things to do. Must rush. Oh, by the way, do you have some friend coming over with you? S
eems Tamaki’s a bit upset about it. You should be careful. Don’t want to muck things up this close.”

  I dropped the phone then kicked it across the room. Screw him and screw Tamaki. That was just too much.

  Chapter 33. Angie

  So, Jack decided to sign the contract and nothing Eric or I said made a difference. He'd just brushed all our arguments away like he'd go through with this no matter what. And he was going through with it like a man goes through with his execution. According to Eric, he'd been a pain in the arse all week too. The slightest thing would send him off and he'd gone home the night before with his knuckles all scraped up, as if he'd punched a wall.

  “What's she doing here?” asked Spud. He met us outside the office and the first thing he did was give me a dirty look.

  “Being a charmer, as usual,” I replied. “I'm here for kicks. And I'm going to kick you if you don't shut up.”

  Ha, that scared him. I'm so hardcore.

  “Yeah, what are you doing here?” said Jack.

  “I'm here to document the moment for the website. Your fans will want to see the exact moment you sell out. It's a big thing.”

  He scowled at me but didn't say anything. It was true. In a way.

  “We can back out still,” said Eric. “It's not too late.”

  Jack scowled even more. His whole forehead was folding in on itself like a piano accordion, he was scowling so hard.

  We got in the elevator.

  “This is our ride to the big time!”

  “Spud, your lame is of totally epic proportions. You are like the Disneyland of lame. The lamest kingdom of them all.”

  “Yeah, well, you won't be saying that when I have chicks queuing around the block to suck my dick.” He sniggered.

  “Seriously, yes, I think I will.” He could be the king of band drummers for all I cared. Some things money can’t buy and lame remover was one of them.

  The lift door opened and we walked into the office to wait for Hipster Chaz to come out and greet us.

  Eric looked as if he had lost his favourite Pokemon card. I'd told him to just refuse to sign but he'd said he couldn't. A band is a democracy and you had to do go with majority rule. Personally, I'm not a fan of majority rule. I'm a fan of Angie rule. That way I never had to do anything I didn't want to do.